Nice and Tidy
2003-12-13   7:15 p.m.

Hello darlings.

I think I've stuck with a template. The only thing I don't like is the fact that you can't see any of the links on the page, so I might have to alter that. But I feel wonderfully productive tonight. I cleaned my room, finished my laundry, wrapped all the Christmas gifts I've bought, cleaned George Stan Dexter (my fish), and moved all of my extras that were prevously on forgeturhere to this diary. Not sure how I'm going to archive them yet, but I know they won't be in December and you can click on the link to see 'em if you really want to. Or, you could press the "previous" button.

Hmm, last night was fun. I got out of school after an hour long mess with the damn office, only at Buena would they give you that much shit just to take a few kids out of class, and Jasmine's mom has officially been named the "Ditching Mom". But we set up her party, and I was left to help make the food while Jasmine and Holli cleaned the crystal. I don't really think they trusted me too much, maybe they thought I would drop it. Either way, it was cool, I got to watch animated movies and cut stuff with sharp knives. Don't worry, all my fingers and other appendages are still properly attached.

Then, people starting arriving as Mrs. Brown, Holli, Linda, and I were arriving with the karioke machine. Heh, that was fun. Most of the time I hung out in the back room with Sam, Holli, Rusty-O and occasionally Jasmine. They were getting dirty in the main room, Kendall and Kathryn are sick people. I'm sure though, had you been there Christopher you'd've loved it.

After everybody had pretty much left, I had fallen asleep on the couch. I think it might have been an hour or two later I wake up to Holli, Linda, and Jasmine singing in rounds, "Do your boobs hang low, do they wobble to and fro, can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow, can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier, do your boobs hang low". I swear to you, that has to be the weirdest song I've ever woken up to. So after a while, I get up and froze, so I run to get my sweats and another hoodie, and curl up in a blanket in a chair and talk a bit. I could have sworn my girls got drunk while I was a sleep and didn't bother to wake me. Then we went into the living room and prepaired to watch a movie, but we all fell asleep. When we woke up again, it's morning and we dog pile Linda. I swear, she's got some funny hair when she first wakes up. And yes, the rest of the morning we spend watching movies until my mother calls.

Her and that stupid thing tonight. That...Christmast party thing where all the adults in her office bring their families and get drunk only to do and say stupid things and expect no one to remember afterwards. I'd enjoy them more I'm sure if I had some alcohol to intoxicate myself into not remembering either because it's rather embarrising to see them do these things then have to face them later about it. And I know that no one else my age will be there. Eric never goes, and Keylee will be at Winter Ball by then with Jay. Heh, so I'm stuck here, to do nothing but try and find a good movie and listen to Our Lady Peace while contimplaiting how seriously my mother took me when I told her some stuff this afternoon.

Heh, yeah, I told her that I've been rather depressed lately. I told her about some of the entries, like the one from a couple of days ago. She said she remembered feeling like that, and that it was normal. That it's a phase that everyone goes through and that she thinks I'm strong enough to get through this on my own. Sometimes I'm not sure though. When I tried explaining all of this she gave me a look, like she didn't believe I felt this way. Man, I must be a good fucking actress if my mother didn't see it. Or maybe she just wasn't looking. But she said, that if it gets too heavy for me she'd take me to a doctor or some other shit. I really don't like doctors. They can bite me because they are all really kinda creepy. (Watch, now I'll wind up marring one..fuck.) So, I don't think I'm going to see the doctor any time soon, but it's nice to know that my mother isn't too worried about it. That it's "normal" and a "phase". Glad to know that this is something so really easy to deal with. It makes me feel more foolish that I can't seem to get a firm grasp on it.