You Know I Wish That I Had Jessi's Girl
2006-11-23   10:34 p.m.

You know, things have been incredibly strange. I feels like everything has been put on fast forward. John and I are living together, and it's wonderful. Rachel currently lives with us since I don't think their dad really cares what happens to them anymore. That always makes me a bit sad. I know that no matter what happens with me and john, I've always got a home here with mom. To imagion that your parents really don't give a fuck kinda sucks.

Then again, sometimes I get annoied. I hate all of his friends with the exception of few. They are all drug addicts or dunderheads. They influence him more than he cares to admit and I want to hit him hard in the head to get him to realize this. He always claims to have control over his actions, but around certian friends he seems to forget his will power. I usually rather hang out with Rachel than go with him to Richards or Joes.

I miss my friends. He's finally realizing what it's like to have someone constantly asking you where you're going and just wanting to hang out with your friends by yourself. It took him, what, a year and some?

I know you don't really like him because of it. And he doesn't like you to some extent because he feels like I always have to ask you if it's okay to bring him along. He doesn't really feel excepted into my friends, the same way I don't feel comfortable around his. With the exception that my friends don't tend to sit around and do drugs. God, I don't really know where to start with my apology to you. But, I really did miss you. There have been so many times where I just wanted to drop by your house but I didn't because I felt like you might think "What the hell is she doing here?". When we spent the night before halloween together with everyone, it was so much fun. And I would and will notice and miss you when you move. I really don't want you to but I already know it's what you want.

And you could say anything to me short of "Please leave me alone I don't want to be your friend" and I would still love you. We've had way too many good times together to just let that shit slide.